Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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