my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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