i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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