i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
