He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize