you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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