I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize