i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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