I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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