I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
