everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
