Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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