omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
