Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
