Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
