what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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