I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
"it" just moved
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
