Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
