i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
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