She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
so much tequila, so little girl.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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