Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
