i just had sex bonerless
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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