I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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