Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
