You're completely useless in the revolution.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
