i was born a porn star she said
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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