meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
