I faked an abortion last night.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
sex in a hospital.. check
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
