ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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