he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
