This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
