If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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