You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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