Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
