you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
