i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
