I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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