Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?

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(417): View more from Missouri

You insisted on take shots off of plates.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."

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(530): View more from California

You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Also fuck yeah conspiracy

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