Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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