everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
