I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
