You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
