Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize