Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
