All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
