Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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