You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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