Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
