I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize