You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
