there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
