the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
