Those balls look pretty dangerous.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
