There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
