I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
