You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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