it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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