just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize