I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
