I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Come share oat with me in your robe
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
