Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
