So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize