Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
