theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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