Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize