I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
