I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
