Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
